Right! It’s the last week of November.
Instagram is littered with heaps of images of beautiful rooms with sparkling trees. Some….have presents underneath, wrapped. OMG. WRAPPED. (narrows eyes and considers temporarily unfollowing..)
AND… today I was talking to someone who has already booked her Waitrose delivery slot for Christmas Eve! I like to think that she was a crazy lady who doesn’t realize its still November, but I fear the truth actually, is that I am woefully disorganised and, crazy lady, don’t I realize it’s only 4 weeks till Christmas??? I bought the Quality Street WEEKS ago, so I WAS feeling quite ahead of my game…
Anyway, I am suspicious of Christmas Eve supermarket delivery slots. So even if there was a slot left I wouldn’t risk it. Not because I love heading off at the crack of dawn on Christmas Eve and potentially ending up in a brawl in the parsnip aisle, no.
Here is a true story ( my absolute favorite, Christmas delivery FAIL story, of all time, which must have been awful, but has me in stitches every time I think of it!)
Julie (no name change here) 4 kids, super organised (and actually really really nice..incase she’s reading this.. lol) the whole family descending etc etc. Tesco delivery booked for the last slot on Christmas Eve. The whole lot, coming on a lorry. No stressy trips to the supermarket for her. NOPE. Tesco was to deliver it all at 6pm and Christmas feasting could then commence.
6pm, lorry pulls up outside. Check.
Chap starts unloading, and Julie et kids start ferrying it all to the kitchen. Brill, love it when a plan comes together.
THEN… the delivery man tells her there’s been some substitutes…
Now, I don’t know WHO decided, in their wisdom that this would be ok, but brace yourself dear reader….
The guy hands her a blue (signifying it is a frozen part of the delivery) bag, and says ‘here is your substitute’… Julie, slightly concerned that she hasn’t seen hide nor hair of the 20lb Free Range fresh Norfolk Black, turkey, that she’d ordered, opens the bag.
Inside, two bags of Bernard Mathews, breaded TURKEY TWIZZLERS
Yep. One fresh, 20lb Free Range Norfolk’s finest Turkey, substituted for basically, a family sized bag of chicken dippers!!!!! O M G
oh how they laughed…..
Can you even imagine!!!!
This was all a few years ago now, and the story has become legendary (and a warning to us all) haha ! Julie got over it, you know, in the end. She hardly needed any therapy. Bless ‘er
Anyway, I am off to, I dunno, make lists or something. And I think I might just crack open the Quality Street… and carefully plan a dawn Christmas Eve dash/raid to Waitrose, where the shoppers are far too polite to brawl in the parsnip aisle… aren’t they? I wonder if they sell breaded turkey twizzlers.. you know.. just incase.
As you were!